When will it ever end?

So again with the drama. That’s one of the reasons why I’ve been gone. So much drama being pulled, it’s a damned shame. I’m not even sure if it’s safe enough to post this entry. Most of it involves people in Forsaken. So if you don’t want to hear about drama, this is a fair warning to you. Don’t read this entry.

About a week ago, somebody, let’s call her “the ex” decided it would be cool to commit suicide. But she didn’t, and made a big issue of it instead. The person who she was dating and she stopped talking for about a week. Then all of a sudden, at a random pace, she decides to call the person she was dating and turned out he had forgiven her. Even after all the times he said to me “I don’t want her calling my phone” or “I’m not going to answer her calls” and all this crap. The ex kept on controlling him to a point where I believe that she thought that she had control over his life. The fact that she believed those things, it made me angry. And also put stress on my shoulders.

When she left for about a week, things where going smoothly. I was happy. I was calm. I didn’t feel any stress like I did before when she was around. I talked to people. When she was around, I didn’t like talking in the room. I didn’t want to communicate with her for the simple fact that I knew she was going to bring drama into my life like she did with the others that she talked to. I knew her differently than everybody else did. I knew her since the days when the Yahoo rooms where around, and she and I never got along. Sure when we had Sailor Wars she was on my team because she was a good fighter (but then I began to notice that half the time she god modes) and that’s where I began to not like her. That and she talked about me behind my back. Some things which I never brought up to the person she dated.

So during the past week, we have been Rping. Everybody was getting along perfectly. I ended up asking a friend of mine “hey, didn’t you notice that things are a lot calmer without the ex?” and she agreed with me. I was right. Every time she was around, drama came along. She always tried to drag the room to focusing on her. Like often she’d bring up things like “omg I fought somebody today. I’m proud of myself.” or if somebody talked with the person she dated, she’d often end up bringing up her new boyfriends, after all. She cheated on him. And still till this day she claims that she loves him. She can’t even stay single for five minutes. She keeps bringing up some random story like “I finally dumped ____ and all of a sudden, I’ve got five people asking me out!” then she ends up randomly choosing somebody, and bam. They come over to spend the night and she logs off.

Then to start things up with ME, she randomly ends up always blurting out “Vicky’s a lesbian.” When I’m not. People know it. She knows it. My friends know it. Because otherwise she wouldn’t be thinking that I and her ex where flirting. When we weren’t. Get your facts straight. Just because somebody doesn’t date, doesn’t mean that they’re lesbian or gay. I once yelled at her for getting my sexuality mixed up. But she kept on making an excuse like “omg Vicky I was just joking” and all of this crap to make an excuse so she wouldn’t be the bad guy. If you’re a friend, I’d be joking with you. If you aren’t my friend, I would be yelling at you. And I don’t consider her a friend. Not after all the crap she’s pulled.

Now back on track…. Just yesterday, the ex comes back into play. The person she was dating (they no longer date) invites her into the room. The moment she comes into the room I start feeling stress on my shoulders. It was to a point where I don’t even want to be there, and I’m not even paying attention to the conversation. So yahoo decides to boot me. I end up calling Chanel because I needed somebody to talk to and let the stress off my shoulders. And apparently she ended up telling her friends the situation and they agreed.

Apparently I’m not the only one that has noticed that she’s a big joke. So all of a sudden, about ten to twenty minutes later, the person she was once dating calls me. The first few words that come out of my mouth where “if she starts shit I’m going to go insane. I’m not going back into the room if she’s in there. Right when she entered I felt stress, and I know that she’s going to bring drama. And you know it too. How can a person change in one week? No, wait! Not even a week! A couple of days! It’s not possible.”

So he ends up disagreeing with me, and quickly retreats “what are you talking about Vicky? This isn’t about you.” Excuse me? It isn’t about me? You don’t know anything about this girl and how I know her. You don’t know about the crap she pulled back in 2004. We NEVER got along. Of course I didn’t tell him that, but you could guess what happened. And quickly, we decided to change the subject. I was distracted at the time because I was talking to Jen at the time since she was interested in joining Forsaken. Now mind you, a bunch of stuff has been on my mind because my father decided that since my mom's up in Puerto Rico, it would be cool to put drama back into my life by trying to get back into it.

From that point on though, we didn’t talk about her until Jen and I where talking about her Dark Neptune. I brought the subject up, and apparently he said that she wouldn't like having a dark half of her character when I had a whole plan set up for it if she didn’t like it. He considered it a bold move, but in my opinion, “you fucked with my storyline of Seiya and Usagi, so I can fuck with your storyline too.” That’s how I viewed it. She dared to bring in a storyline of Michiru where Michiru and Haruka weren’t together. Apparently Haruka cheated with Michiru on Seiya. Um, excuse me? That wasn’t even played out and you dare bring that in without MY PERMISSION? Not cool, man. Not cool.

I’m still waiting to hear more stuff from what may happen later today. I’ll probably update this entry, but that’s it for now. >_>;

No internet means chaos!

So I certainly had an eventful three days without internet. As many of you know that know me, I’m the type of person who spends pretty much all their free time on the internet. And when I get the chance, I go out seeing that I still don’t have a car or drivers license (I really could care less about driving). But to put things to the point, I’m online pretty much everyday of the week until I go to bed, unless I have other plans which I rarely do.
Well, around 3:00 on Wednesday, my internet went out. We thought it was a minor problem, but an hour later, it didn’t come back. So I called up Comcast and apparently I have an outage and the people from Comcast weren’t able to come until today. Well actually, they where capable of coming Thursday, but since I’m not 18 they won’t come into the house. Top that off, I don’t even look my age (I look like I’m 13 when I’m 17). So I highly doubt they’d think I’m 18 if I lied.
So…. What have I been doing throughout the past couple of days without any internet? I’ve been sitting in my room, writing up different forms of characters and getting all my character biographies done. So far, each of my characters whether they be minor or major have at least 5 to 10 pages written for them in detailed paragraph format for different RPGs because of how bored I was. I’ve been listening to music at the same time, with the TV on as well but with low volume. Because my mother works on weekdays and I’m stuck at home babysitting, I’ve been forced to stay home all summer while my brothers are here so I can’t go out during the day. But what happens when a girl who’s usually online during the day and sometimes at night doesn’t have internet the last few days until school starts? Complete and total chaos.
Every time someone calls me asking me “What happened to your internet?” or “Why aren’t you online?!” I’d end up snapping and telling them exactly what happened. You could have even told from the sound of my voice that I’m pissed off, because certain family members seem to think its “so fucking cool” to screw up the internet and piss off dear ol’ Vicky. My brothers where stupid enough to pull out the splitters which connects the TV and Modem so we can’t get online. They yanked it out hard, to a point where we don’t even know if it’s dead or not. And my mom doesn’t even PUNISH them for doing such a thing. My mom takes their naïve actions, and ends up believing them that they didn’t do it.
EXCUSE ME? They have a SMILE and a SMIRK on their faces. A SMILE AND A SMIRK MEANS THEY DID IT. I told her the exact words. Guess what she responds to me with? “Victoria, stop it. I don’t want to hear anymore from you.” Out of anger, I go to my room and slam the door in her face, and lock it. And only until then does she get the point. She KNOWS it’s the last few days of vacation before I have to go to school. And like every summer, I usually spend the last couple of days finishing up with my websites trying to get things done.
Then, I started to text some of my friends shortly after. Mind you, this all happened the first day without internet. A friend of mine tells me that I have two computers, and I can’t get online with any of them. Mind you, there are a total of five computers in my house. Only two of them belong to me, but none of them can get online. And my mom was stupid enough to not pay the phone bill, when she claims “I’m trying to figure out what I’m going to do. Comcast has phone line service, and I’m thinking about switching over to that. But I don’t want to pay the bill just yet.”
Why can’t you pay the bill for this month and be done with it next month, and then when you DO want to change, change next month and be done with it. Because after what the boys did to the internet, guess what? They’re not getting my phone no matter how much they ask for it especially how they’ve been treating me like crap throughout the past couple of days, that’s a BIG TIME NO. If you aren’t going to do anything to them, then guess what. I’m going to!
But apparently, on Thursday my mom had to go to my brothers Middle School Orientation thing. And because I was going insane with no internet, mom dropped me and my youngest brother at the library where we both did what we wanted to do. He read manga, and I went online and tried to get as much stuff done beforehand.
Several hours later, my mom comes to pick us up and we go get Chinese. My mom’s best friend Daisy, who’s now going out with my mom’s boss Danny came over. Danny ended up helping us out with the internet, and we can only get connected to the internet. SO I decide since we have internet in the boy’s room, to go in there and sit there silently, while talking on the phone with friends. Several moments later, my brothers come into the room saying “Get out. This is our room, it’s our internet.” Seconds later, he ends up saying “Oh my god, don’t turn around! I’m completely naked and showing my private parts!” But the way they said it was like they where being a smartass. All the boys in the room started laughing, and I left the room pissed off. But while I was leaving they kept on saying random things, things which I wasn’t paying attention of but they where rude.
So I decide to tell mom that he’s showing his parts. But my mom decides that it’s going to be cool and she does nothing to them. I get even more pissed off, and slam the door and start yelling on the phone and yelling out to her in my room. Then my mom ends up saying “You know what Victoria, you’re punished!” Thinking that I’d care. Really, without internet or a phone you’re basically punishing me. So what more can you do to me? Take my phone away? Take my laptop away? Not going to happen. Sorry bitch, but I know when NOT to give my phone away for something that IS NOT FAIR. Top that off; if you take my computers away it wouldn’t make a difference to me. What can you do on the computer without the internet? Basically nothing and I don’t have any offline games top that off. But I will LITERALLY fight you if I find something’s not right until I get it into your head. This is basically what happened.
So, I decide moments later to call my mom into my room. She comes in, but when she starts hearing me talk she decides to walk away. I end up going “No, you know what. You’re staying here, you’re LISTENING TO ME. You don’t do CRAP in this house and you let THEM get away with everything they do and blame it on ME.” So she takes a hint, and now she ends up claiming that “once people leave, I’ll do something.” Um, excuse me? I want you to do something NOW.
But of course I didn’t say that. I just let her do what she wanted, go back and talk with her friends and boss. But when she ends up going out there, I end up hearing one of the kids ask “Why is she crying?” Yes, I was crying because it wasn’t fair. And usually when I cry, she knows it’s not fair so it works even better. She ends up saying “Because you boys like to piss her off for fun when she’s here and you know she doesn’t like it. So you know what, fun’s over.” Bullshit. She lets them go play after what they did? I don’t think so.
But I didn’t do anything; I just went back to talking to my friends. You’d probably think that since I’m what? 17 that I’d act mature about this? I would have, if it was just them showing off their parts. But I’m not going to act mature about it when they’ve done crap to me all week and they’ve gotten away with every little thing. This time, I had enough. If she doesn’t learn to be a better parent, my god. I’m going to FORCE her to take parenting classes. She does NOT know how to handle certain situations such as this. She does NOT go hard on them or anyone!
I’m literally done. I don’t care what she does, but if she doesn’t start acting like the BETTER PARENT I don’t know what I’m going to do. But apparently, she DID punish them. She took away my brothers video games and their computer and now they’re only stuck with a TV until who knows when. All day today my brother has been having a grudge against everyone giving off a smart mouth attitude.
But thankfully, today is over. I’m going to sleep now, and hopefully when I get my haircut in the morning everything will be better.

Way to go with the binder obsession!

I’ve been very busy the past couple of days. With what, you ask? My websites. Originally I was working on a site called Grey Skies Fallen, but I decided against that seeing that people weren’t joining when I advertised it on as many sites as I could. Then I began to work on another website called Runaway :: Tokyo Academy, which is a school, based RPG allowing all forms of grade levels.
Then, I began to work on a whole bunch of other remade games. Some of them are still in the making, though! I also cleaned up Black Star, by changing the coding of Cutenews again and the main website layout. I’ve added in quite a bit of content, got rid of things, but we’re still working at it.
But let’s get on with the real journal! A couple of days ago, I think it was last Thursday or something like that when I decided to go out. I asked mom to take me school shopping, from what many of you may remember. And we finally went after I reminded her. I really didn’t want to write anything in my previous journal about it until now, seeing that there wasn’t much I could think of to write that day.
But anyhow. When we went out, I ended up buying my school supplies. Really, nothing fancy because I didn’t need much (since I have my laptop). I only bought one of those very simple, flexible binders, notebook, Dr. Grip pens and pencils (my favorite brand, mind you.)
My brothers ended up buying the typical school required items. But when my brothers left for my dad’s house the next day, I began to look at their school supplies. Looking at the binders was always my favorite thing to do, since I used to love collecting them but they where all thrown out by mom. When I kept on looking at them, I kept on screaming “I want a binder now!” or things like “I miss collecting my binders!” in my head. Weird, isn’t it? I guess collecting binders is my obsession. =P But now with a laptop, I can’t continue with that obsession. So that obsession must go, unfortunately! I think over the years I’ve bought 5 binders each year of schooling. I think I probably owned more binders than I do of my own manga! That or I own more notebooks than manga since I still have thousands of notebooks in my closet that I had since I was in elementary. That also includes diaries which I used to collect (never written in them!) and other junk like that.
I also got in touch with an old classmate of mine this weekend. We just talked nothing special but it seems like out of all my classmates, he bugs me the most. o.O I mean sure, I still talk to some of them on the phone. But he’s always bugging about everything. He was also the one who made me do Weight Lifting when I used to sit around and do nothing in Weight Lifting class, so yeah. He bugs. XD
But anyway. I can’t really talk much about anything today. But I shall start uploading some stuff soon, before school starts next week!

Things... slightly better now?

I spent the day today working on Black Star. You’ll notice a few pages added in the Me, You, and Site sections of the site and some things changed with the Cutenews script since I’m randomly fiddling around trying to get it to look like how I want it to.
Things went a whole lot smoother than they did yesterday with my family. I woke up this morning around 11 after receiving another phone call from my dad. He seemed a whole lot nicer than yesterday. We talked about school seeing I’m going into my Senior year, and we both think its going to be better than the previous years (I was dubbed “skipping queen” by my friends, classmates, and teachers throughout the years.) Though the main reason he called was to make sure that my mom was there, seeing that he doesn’t want me staying home alone (again.)
Today I ended up doing the laundry before I went to site work. I had to, seeing that mom got upset that I didn’t do crap around the house. Hey, I baby-sit two troublesome brothers during the week. That should be enough right? Apparently not. -_-; But I told her off once that she didn’t do anything either, seeing that she lets the boys play around and break her glass houses which she collects and nearly destroy the house when they have friends over. But when I told her off that one day, apparently now my mom says “I changed, and now I’m going to do things the right way!” Well, we’ll see.
It’s kind of funny, though. My aunt Liz (she’s not really my aunt, more like a cousin. But she wants us to call her aunt. =P) has a troublesome kid too. When I spent the week over at her place sometime in June after having lost my job because they needed a professional, we talked. And apparently every time I talk to someone they always end up asking for advice. In my aunt’s words, she claims that I know more about parenting and handle things better when I’m not even a parent! O_o
Is it true? I don’t think so. I just say what’s on my mind. I can’t even handle my brothers but it seems as though my aunt claims I do. -_-’ I don’t even want kids. I hate them and I don’t think I’d make a good parent at all but yet my aunt still claims otherwise... That’s not really important now is it?
It’s been raining all day. Really, nothing to do. Dwight’s here, and my mom and Dwight went to my mom’s boss’s daughter’s 18^th birthday. They invited me but I didn’t want to go because I knew no one and all I’d be doing is spending time on the computer and hogging their internet anyway. So I decided to stay home.
Nothing really exciting. But it seems as though my mom and I are on each others good sides now. I don’t know if she’s just being nice because Dwight’s here, but we’ll see once he leaves. Tomorrow I might have a longer blog, since I’ll be out all day since I’m going to see The Simpson’s Movie and enjoying my 2^nd to last weekend of Summer Vacation. ^_^’

Disowned

So it seems from square one the first phone call I received today was from my dad at exactly 9:46AM. I was still sleeping; not knowing who it was I picked up the phone since my screen on my phone still doesn't work. When I answer, my dad ends up going into this long guilty talk with me and telling me all this shit. But the surprising thing was "you aren't coming this weekend. I told your mother and she's making other arrangements." That's what surprised me.
But then he went on with how I wasn't answering his calls when I told him exactly what happened with my phone (it has a black screen, I can't see anything on the phone let alone who calls) and he doesn't believe me. Like he ever does. The boys know what's wrong with my phone so they can tell him exactly but I know they're going to side with him.
But anyway. After that talk he ended up hanging up and let me go back to sleep. But when I end up calling mom shortly after she ends up yelling at me because she can no longer go to Puerto Rico this weekend as originally planned. She completely blames the fact that when my dad was sick I didn't bother calling him. How could I? There was no phone I could use and I can't even call my friends anymore on my phone. They have to call me. Then she ends up saying a whole bunch of stuff after, telling me that I'm old enough to move out of the house and blah blah blah.
Shortly after that she ends up hanging up the phone. Afterwards I sit there, thinking about what happened. Now, usually when someone says you're old enough to move out of the house you should be happy. But the way I picture it, with everything that happened it seems like you're not wanted. Which is exactly how I felt. So I decide to write my mom a letter.
I told her that if she wants me out of the house to go to the store and get a newspaper. Then I'll go job hunting and when I get enough money I'll move out of the house and she won't see me again. I even told her how I felt about Dwight (her boyfriend). I love the guy trust me, but when he's over she acts differently. She's always yelling and always so picky about what happens and what I do. In my opinion if he's been with you this long and I still act the same way I do and he hasn't left you, then why bother going through all of that yelling and just let me be who I am?
But apparently it doesn't work that way. So after writing the letter I go back to sleep because I wasn't feeling good. Sometime around 3 I end up waking up again because Chanel (Mary) called. We talked, but I was still upset from what happened earlier as it seems like you're really just "disowned" from your family when someone tells you you're not wanted.
So we stop talking after awhile, but yet I don't go back online and I just sit there thinking. Trying to go back to sleep but I still can't. My mind was set on what happened earlier that morning. But an hour or so later, around 5:15 mom comes home. I'm lying down on the couch, thinking but with my eyes closed pretending I'm asleep. I have the dog next to me, but she ended up jumping off the couch when mom came through the door. I wasn't surprised, but then when I heard mom reading my letter to her I began to think twice. Thinking it might not have been a good idea on writing the letter because now apparently she's not talking to me.
It's what I wanted, right? Not really. I expected her to say something but now it's like we're both not saying anything to each other. I told her to go to Puerto Rico, let me stay home but apparently now she doesn't want to. And I think she still does but I didn't bother saying anything. After that, I ended up going to my room. Still waiting for a response and now here I am typing up this blog. A lot can happen in only a few hours, can't it?